"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

An old Roberts' family saying (shared by Norman, but who knows how far back it goes?), you were admonished to "hang tough" (a more modern version) as a way of making your way through difficulties. It wasn't necessarily a "stiff upper lip" attitude, but more of a call to action, not to give up or give in. This was suggested as an obligation of circumstances, to not back down or negotiate with circumstances. It would be interesting to know if this was suggested to our sisters too, or whether it was a male thing ... some of it was.

I remember one Christmas afternoon, we were about to join other family members for the big meal. An automotive customer of Dad's called, she was broken down 10, 15 miles away, unable to get to her family gathering. He invited me to join him to deal with the problem; we dropped my Mother, Brother and Sister off at Grandfather & Grandmother's house and then went on ....he did get her started and on her way. This would be one of many character building episodes for me, & probably for my Brother Jim as well.

The basis of this character building aspect was a version of "tough love," what might be called "tough care" the way Bell Hooks
describes the differences between love and care in her book "All About Love; New Visions." Which meant that through prepared-
ness you not only might survive, but your shipmates or fellow workers might as well. Trying to lash down a lifeboat which we were about to lose in the North Atlantic, a shipmate acquaintence undoubtedly saved my life with a forceful grab of my arm, backed up by another sailor who fortunately had anchored himself to back up Johnny. It might have been just lucky happenstance, but we were trained to care about each other, and be "tough" in the process. Care for yourself and care for others, often spoken of in terms of our troops in Iraq and Afganistan.